Johnson gives up ‘strong mayor’ initiative in favor of steroid abuse
DOWNTOWN — Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson released a statement Wednesday that he would officially drop his push and legal fight for a ‘strong mayor’ initiative that would be brought to voters in June.
Conversely, Johnson said in a media event earlier today that he was feeling “juiced” about his future and then asked reporters if anyone wanted to “spot him.” The mayor then removed his suit, revealing a tight-fitting lycra-spandex speedo, and began to do barbell repetitions behind the podium. “Looking good, right?” he asked as photographers snapped pictures.
Johnson’s cryptic behavior comes after months of campaigning for a strong mayor clause to be added to the city charter. In the plan, the mayor would have given Johnson executive power of the city council. Support for the initiative was mixed at best, and the measure was recently blocked from the June ballot by a Superior Court Judge.
When asked about the sudden change of policy from the mayor’s office, Johnson replied, “Oh that? I don’t need that anymore now that I have these,” flexing and kissing the top of his newly-enlarged biceps. “I don’t need any Judge telling me what I can and can’t do. I mean, look at me.” said Johnson, stepping out in full view to reveal his enlarged, well-oiled physique.
The source of Johnson’s new physical stature remains unclear, and aides are remaining tight-lipped about the changes.
Spokesman Steve Maviglio said Johnson had taken up a new diet and exercise regimen that was “heavy on carbs” and “working the core.”
Others are not convinced that Johnson is free of performance-enhancing substances.
A staffer who wished to remain anonymous told the Chronicle that in an altercation after the press conference, Johnson smashed City Manager Toby Ross through a wall in the council chambers while bellowing “MAYOR STRONGGG.” He then ripped the right arm off of the chambers guard who attempted to subdue him and ran quickly to his office.
